I’ve often noticed two of the main ingredients needed for being a Leftist are cluelessness and narcissism. And of course, a decent amount of arrogance coupled with immaturity doesn’t hurt.
There’s a guy I’ve been close friends with since 1999. We met in Graduate School while I was still living in New York City and dreaming of the day I’d gladly don the title of, “Ex-Manhattanite.” I had long since grown tired of life there and could not wait to move away for good. I saw Grad School as a significant part of my plan to leave New York behind. Thinking once I had my Master’s Degree, dozens of companies on the West Coast would be eager to offer me a job and pay all my moving expenses. Then it would be adios Big Apple!
My friend’s name is Zach. For a New Yorker, he’s what you’d consider a pretty nice guy. Affable and gregarious, a typical east coast pseudo-intellectual phony with an unwarrantedly high opinion of himself. Always walking around with a copy of ‘The New York Times’ under one arm, ready to regurgitate at the drop of a dime whatever mental garbage the editors had opined that morning. Zach never came right out and said it, but he clearly thought he was smarter than everyone else. And of course, way more well-read than his counterparts which accounted for the smirk on his face every time someone had the audacity to voice their point of view in his presence.
Like most New Yorkers he openly commended judging entire groups of people by the actions of a few stereotypes while comfortably looking down his nose at the blue-collar peasants who live between NYC and Los Angeles. For him, “Fly Over Country” was a creed, not a label, seeing no conflict at all with holding these openly prejudicial opinions.
In fact, he was FILLED with contempt for the lowly masses who inhibited the other four boroughs of the city. For those who don’t know, New York is made up of five parts; Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx, and Staten Island. With those living in Manhattan seeing themselves as the superior overlords of the others. The “Outer Boroughs” as they are called, are filled with the people who make the city work. The sanitation workers, police, fire-fighters, sewer system employees, grocery store workers, cab drivers, dock workers, truck drivers, you name it. It’s where the Working Class types live and commute into Manhattan every day to maintain its infrastructure while being looked down upon like serfs in a medieval, feudal estate.
Manhattanites subconsciously
But I digress.
When you live in NYC long enough, everything I just described becomes kind of background noise you learn to live with. Otherwise, you’d go insane and have absolutely no friends. So hopefully this explains why I was friends with Zach. I had learned long ago to swallow my distaste for their lack of character and make friends with those I actually could be friends with, sort of like being an inmate in a maximum security prison. You make the friends you can. (Wow, am I negative!)
Zach was, of course, a Liberal who voted Democrat exclusively because, according to him, he identified with, “the little guy and the working class” because that’s who the Dems represented. The very same people he CLEARLY despised and yet “identified” with. (On a side note: It became amazing to me how often New Yorkers used the term, “the workers” in a sentence. “I’m with the workers,” was a common phrase you’d hear white collar snobs use at cocktail parties, in some shallow attempt at sounding egalitarian.)
He was surprisingly well-read when it came to history. Particularly concerning the first and second World Wars. But like all his kind there was zero application of that knowledge. As with most New Yorkers, he read tons of books but somehow gained no wisdom from them at all. A phenomenon I never could understand in all the time I spent living there.
I knew him well enough to know his wettest dream undoubtedly involved being part of a Harvard Think Tank, sitting around all day eating [something pretentious] discussing the merits of Socialism while putting down people who enjoy Nascar and the Rodeo. In the same breath condemning Republicans for being out of touch with the common working man. Out of touch with, “the workers.”
Yes, I know you are scratching your head right now. I said he was a nice guy for a New Yorker, and I meant it; this is what a nice guy is there. No joke. See why I wanted to leave so badly? Besides, he had a good sense of humor and went to the movies. Of course, he didn’t enjoy the movies; he WENT to the movies. Usually making an inane comment critiquing the film during the end credits that made me never want to go to the movies with him again.
You see it’s against the Manhattanite rulebook to admit you enjoy, “Domestic Cinema.” To remain part of the club, one must always put down films like, ‘Jurassic Park’ as being mind-numbing tripe produced for and consumed by the uneducated “Masses.” If you wanted to fit in you’d go on about the virtues of obscure French films —usually ones three hours long dealing with a Jazz musician slowly drinking himself to death with a subplot condemning Capitalism. Now THAT’S their idea of a great Friday night!
Back to the point of this piece; in 2010 he lost his job and had been out of work for six months when I called to see how he was doing. I honestly felt terrible he was in a tight spot. I’ve been out of work before and know how awful it can be. Zach was on the fence contemplating a decision he had to make. He was offered an excellent job in Sweden of all places and was wondering if he should accept it.
“TAKE IT!!!” I said!
What an exciting opportunity! The chance to live in another country! To meet all sorts of new people and experience different things! How many of us get a chance like this in a lifetime? I just thought it was fantastic and enthusiastically encouraged him to accept!
“Besides,” I said, “do it for two years. If you don’t like it, you can always land something back in the states, and it will look GREAT on your resume! And trust me, two years will FLY by before you know it.”
So he took the job on my recommendation. I doubt I’m the only one who told him to do so, but I know my opinion held a particular value in his book. And so he packed up and headed for Stockholm.
After he moved to Sweden, I emailed him to see how he was doing. It must have been such a thrill to transplant to a city like Stockholm for the first time and walk around, soaking everything in! What an adventure!
I wrote: “Hey Dude! How’s it going over there? Are you getting settled in OK?”
Him: “I’m really impressed with how civil everyone is to each other here. America could learn a lot from Sweden. Fucking Republicans, what are they so afraid of?”
Congratulations, you just insulted me.
Was I insulted? Yes, very much so. But that’s not what really got me. It was the fact we were friends for over a decade and yet he knew nothing about me. Mainly because he never really asked. Did he know who he was talking to? Did he care? Now I know how women feel when they say their husbands don’t know anything about them. Without any consideration, he just hauled off and insulted me, my country and my countrymen. I happen to love the latter two. A fact I know makes me, “unsophisticated” in Zach’s eyes. A detail that further boiled my blood. (In Manhattan people who love America and the Flag are considered unsophisticated dopes with little or no education)
In New York, you tend to ignore guys like this to have friends and a social life. It’s just a fact of living there. The isolation of living in New York is brutal. It’s a VERY lonely city. But I was tired of guys like him. I was genuinely concerned for my friend. I was rooting for him! And what did I get for all my concern? He spit right in my face.
You know what else? He doesn’t even know it. He’s oblivious to the fact. You see Zach; I am one of those unsophisticated morons you love to talk about and put down. I’m a rube, a hick, a redneck (raised in NYC my entire life, go figure). But I’m also someone you ENJOYED talking to for hours because my knowledge of world history matched your own. My grasp of the Second World War exceeded your expectations. You enjoyed talking to me because for once you thought you’d found an intellectual equal. That’s why you keep trying to contact me now. You miss my company!
What a joke life played on you, you admire one of the very people you spit on.
I had had it. Not just with him but everyone like him. I left New York to get away from their kind. The overly arrogant east coast narcissistic snobs. Staying friends with him was a mental anchor to the past. His insulting comment did me the favor of making it painfully obvious. So the next day I removed him from all my Social Media accounts. Deleted him from contacts and removed him from people I know on Skype. I wonder how long it took him even to notice my disappearance from his accounts.
Five years later he found me on LinkedIn and sent me a private message. It was a nicely written email about how “it’s been ages since we’ve talked. Let’s change that. How are you? Are you still alive? Please call me.” It was an honest plea from a friend to reconnect with a friend. He obviously thinks about me. It genuinely makes me feel bad. I don’t have so many friends I can just toss one aside without regret. But I can’t get over being discounted by a friend. Given no consideration at all when I sincerely wanted to help.
Last year he moved to Vancouver, British Columbia. A city I could now easily drive to if I wanted. But I don’t. The Left believes we should avoid offending people at all costs but is it wrong for me to want friends who make a sincere effort not to offend me? Or do I not matter in that regard?
So go bathe in your ‘New York Times’ and your bloody boring ‘NPR’ you arrogant fool! I’d rather be down a friend than be friends with someone who doesn’t even know me or who I am. And what if you did? You’d undoubtedly stop talking to me anyway because I’m a cursed, ‘Trump Supporter!’ A devote Reaganite! The lowest of the low in your eyes.
It looks like I did you a favor blowing you off.
You may be a man in your late 30’s or early 40’s, but you’re still very much a boy. A little boy. That comment you made is something a pathetic college freshman would utter in some vapid attempt to sound worldly and relevant. Looks like you struck out on both. Hey, Mr. New York Intellectual, guess what? I showed your IM to a bunch of people I know to get their reaction. Every one of them said the same thing, “What annoying idiot said that?” Congratulations, strangers think you’re an idiot.
If it were not for Republicans, we could be a bigger Sweden. This is how a child’s mind sees the world. Wow, how profound you are. There are certain things stupid people say to sound intelligent. “America Stinks” is on the top of that list.
You know what else I’m tired of? Hearing, ‘America Stinks!’
AMERICA DOES NOT STINK! As anyone with any grasp of world history should know this is an indisputable fact of life. Western Civilization is the single greatest achievement in all of Human History. Not for all the inventions it’s created, but for the simple fact it values the individual and guarantees each’s rights under a system of laws. More so than any civilization that preceded it. And the shining pinnacle of Western Civilization is the United States of America. A country I know you hate.
Well, guess what my ex-friend. You’ll miss that country when it’s gone. Miss it big time.